Pictures!!

I got a few photos of the boys (Raegan wore the Superman costume!!) when we went to Riley's school. Here they are:

 This is Riley on his sick bed on the couch. That's our dog Louie, the most loyal pup two boys could ever have.

This is Raegan upstairs watching Thomas the Train. Note the Thomas pajamas. And out of screen is the Thomas Train he takes with him everywhere.... even to bed!

Even Superheroes get tired I suppose. 

A Look Inside My Little World

Greetings!
Well, my brain has been churning and festering over several things lately. As you all know it is Halloween today. I am sitting in my kitchen listening to Thomas the Train upstairs, and How to Train a Dragon downstairs. I have one sick boy on a couch bed, and the other very, very cranky one staying upstairs away from the sickly one. I'm sure Raegan is next in line to be sick, which most likely means, so am I. Riley is very sad he is too sick to go to school today, he and I had bought some bracelets and pencils to give to his classmates tied together with string for Halloween. I promised him we'd still go drop them off. Plus, since he's technically not going to school today I'm going to let him wear his costume while bringing in the gifts, and since the kids don't get to wear their costumes to school today, he will be ultimately the coolest. I think it makes up for having to miss out on a fun day at school. Riley's costume is Maverick from Top Gun. He looks so handsome in it, it scares me how good lookin' that boy is.

Am I right or am i right?!
You don't want to know how much that thing cost me. Raegan is hopefully going to be Superman. Last year when all of the costumes went on clearance I bought the boys some for fun to play in and Raegan still wears his Superman one. He has taken a liking, or obsession rather, to Thomas the Train in the last few months and I bought him a Thomas costume but he refused to even try it on. Go figure. So we're going to try with Superman, which by the way he looks hilarious in. I do not as of yet have a picture of him in it but I do have a picture of him in these ridiculous superhero pajamas.

They crack me up.

With all of this talk of Halloween I have found myself growing more and more bothered by the entire "Holiday." I don't even like calling it that. I just think it is dark and makes our children susceptible to things in a manner in which they begin to accept them as okay. Pretending to be dead, or demons, or ghosts and witches for that matter, in my opinion are not OK. I was horrified to hear my son come home for school asking to make our home haunted and to put ghosts and witch's cauldron's all over. How does he even know what any of that is? I just think "playfully" getting into all of that is like playing with fire. I never would have thought I'd become such a conservative mother! I know my mom will laugh at reading that.  But I feel strongly that the Lord has placed these concerns on my heart and so I am doing my best to follow his will. 

I heard someone say on the radio that they felt like Halloween was a celebration of death and they chose to celebrate life on Halloween. I like that, I'm sticking with that concept. So we are going trick or treating for just a little bit, and then depending on how Riley's feeling, we'll either hand out candy at home or make an appearance at our church's Fall Festival. That works for me just fine. Everyone wins that way. I'm happy to have found something that my kids have fun with and I still feel like I'm protecting their innocence for a bit longer. If you do your research on Halloween, it really is a weird holiday. But, I still love the excuse to wear a fun costume and get some free candy. I will get some pictures of the boys tonight and put them on here. I didn't mean to get so intense about a holiday and I'm sure some of you think I'm very opinionated (I am) but I want to make sure it's known I want my children to enjoy this day and not to ever feel left out because of our beliefs but rather that they learn to be conscious of every decision they make. With that being said, be safe and Happy Halloween!!

Grin.

OH I am just about ready to pee my pants over my Christmas gift idea! I want so badly to share it but I don't want to ruin the surprise for anyone in my family if they read this! I will be so happy to tell you about it after Christmas, and to explain how it all came about. It's actually something I've been wanting to do for several years but either waited too long or chickened out. It's kind of morbid sounding but I think wonderfully unique. Few people know about this idea and know that they are sworn to secrecy  about it.  I just hope I can get it all done, it will be an emotionally trying thing for me. Oh I can't wait for Christmas! 

I've been thinking lately that I should probably state in some sorts that I am a Christian and therefore you could technically categorize this blog as a Christian one too. But that just kind of makes my stomach churn. I guess I just feel more that I am just a girl, loving Jesus, trying to live life with his discernment. I have a deep abiding relationship with him and he is a part of everything in my life, big, small and everything in between. Because of this, he is probably going to have something to do with everything I write about. Simply because, he anchors me, he roots me.

I am so far from perfect, let's make that clear straight away! I think probably a lot of what I write about will be from the mistakes I have made/make and what I am learning from them.  If the thought of God of religion turns you off, I hope you'll still tune in and maybe get a more true glance of what it looks like to know God or maybe in the least a different perspective. I hope to eventually turn this into a community of sorts, with the likes of sharing our struggles, things learned, triumphs and even friendship. I follow Beth Moore's blog and she does a thing called "Talk Tuesdays." I'd like to get to the point of doing something similar. If you have any ideas or suggestions I'd love to hear it! Maybe we can all in some way do life together. Too corny?? Get used to it! Grin. :)


Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

You Make Beautiful Things

I wanted to share this song. I. Am. Obsessed. I love it! The lyrics are what really speak to me and the honest vulnerability out of the beginning. Enjoy!

Crimson Stains

So part of what I want to write about on here will require a bit of my back story. I feel that God has allowed many things to happen in my life, good bad and ugly and I want to share the experiences and the things I've learned in hopes of someone else benefiting from them.

I think it would be safe to say I had a fairly typical and very healthy childhood growing up. I am the youngest of three, my sister Sarah is 7 years older and my brother Daniel is 5 years older. We were raised in north Spokane, Washington and spent our time in the great outdoors of the Pacific Northwest and playing sports. We were a very close-knit family and I think we all cherish the time we had together growing up. We were raised in a Christian household with parents who grew up in the age of hippies and rock and roll. My favorite pictures of my parents are when they looked like hippies. I credit both my mom and dad for my severe passion for music and the deep need to always hear it louder. They taught me to love everything from Peter Frampton to Fernando Ortega and Sara Brightman. In case you're wondering that would be everything from Rock to Christian and even Opera. My father was a carpenter most of my childhood and my mom a nurse. I spent a lot of time with my dad going to his side jobs or projects around the house. He gave me my interest and passion for do-it-yourself projects. There's just something great about using a drill. My mom loves to decorate and make a house feel like a home. She used to watch this gay guy named Christopher (I think) who had a lisp and was possibly crazy but his talent for interior design was incredible and he made us laugh. My mom taught me how to laugh hardily.

When I was in the second grade my family purchased 10 acres about ten minutes outside of town with a sweeping view of the city, Mt. Spokane, and on a clear day the Canadian Rockies. It was beautiful there. I hated it! For a long time at least until my friends could drive and my social life came back to me. The home we built there as a family set many pieces of my life into a firm foundation of the Lord. In some of my happier dreams I dream of being at that home, or walking in the field or discovering the surrounding woods.  Many times I went to bed with my parents having friends over and praying together on their knees in our living room, or woke up to my parents on the deck reading the Bible or a good book, or just talking with one another. God tells us he reveals Himself to us in his creation. Well, it was all around me. My childhood was spent pretending to be a wilderness girl and planting a secret garden of my very own (remember that movie???). There were animals everywhere and the stars at night were indescribable. We could even see the Northern Lights! Growing up the Lord made himself very known to me at a very young age, and it was a good thing He did, because I'd need to know Him well to survive my teenage years. 

When I was about 15 my parents marriage began to crumble. It was a very trying time for everyone in my family. My sister had a little boy named Josh and was a single mom doing her best to raise him on her own. My brother was in college and I was in many ways an only child at this point. I think we'd all agree we felt heavily the spiritual attack on our family. I had these vivid dreams where Satan was sitting atop a throne with all of my friends and family (sometimes just their heads.... gross) and he sees me coming and smiles the most evil smile I've ever seen and says to me, "I'm going to kill everyone you love."  Or sometimes he'd tell me he was going to take away everyone I loved.  God allows difficult times in our life and this was definitely no exception. It was very close to my parents 25th wedding anniversary that they divorced and I still wish to this day they had made it that far. For them to feel the blessing of that.  I've always thought they were a great team.

 There's a lot of tough, sad details that I could add in here but maybe they'll come up at a later time and I'll tell you more. Just know that this was the beginnings of the most difficult years of my life. And more than once I almost didn't make it through. It has only been by the grace of God and his love for me that has seen me through to this day. I don't know that I'd say my family is completely out of the woods from this spiritual attack, or rather I'd say, that we're still very much fighting. Many things have changed, people come and gone, but we are all still in battle. 

Jesus has been so good to me. I remember after my parents divorced crying myself to sleep every night in the chest of my dog Maddie because she was the only one there for me. I still believe to this day she knew she was.  I used to sit in the back of my math class my sophomore year and just cry. My heart was crushed, my family torn. In many ways divorce steals the innocence of a childhood, regardless of age, because mommy and daddy don't want to be together anymore and something in your heart tells you it's sickeningly not right. This was the first time my heart was broken in half and it would never perfectly repair again. I say Jesus has been good to me, because looking back now in my mind I see myself crying, hurting and broken and seeing it all from the outside now, I see Jesus there with me every step of the way, keeping me from completely crumbling.

Hello!

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

-George Elliot

Well,

I'm new to this whole blogging thing, I'm an old soul in many ways, and usually therefore am a step or two behind in technology. I don't always enjoy change and really think there's something to be said for a man (or woman in this case) with paper and pen. However, I recently started following a friend's blog and have thoroughly enjoyed all of the wonderful things you can do with a blog. I like the idea of an online diary of sorts, especially ones that can become like a scrapbook. Who has time to make the real kind anyway??

 I originally decided to start this blog for my boys, Riley (5 years old) and Raegan (2 years old). I wanted them to be able to have an archive of sorts to go back and read someday to get to know me a little better, remember their childhood and to hopefully learn a thing or two.  I'm not exactly sure what this will end up looking like, I have a few ideas in my head but I think it will mostly be as said before, a diary of sorts, a collection of my life, thoughts and lessons learned. I hope you enjoy.

Amy Rose