I have begun to write something on here several times now and continued to hit 'delete.' There's so many thoughts running around in my brain that it's hard to translate them all. I need to clear my head. Ugh, writer's block. Yuck. Maybe once again some lyrics would say it better. I wish I could write like this:

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out onto Grey St.
And she thinks...hey
How did I come to this place?
I dreamed myself thousand times around the world
But I can't get out of this place
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart

 

 

 

That is all <3

A post in photos.
I'd love to share all about my weekend with you in words, but I'm afraid it wouldn't do it justice. I took some pictures with my iPhone along the way, it's inspired me to get back out my big, fancy camera again. I love taking pictures, and my three boys (including my dog) are the most wonderful subjects.

Sometimes the weather suits one's mood so well it's almost creepy. Like the weatherman in the sky took a peek inside your soul for the forecast of the day. Just a thought.

Here's some of my weekend, through my lenses' eye:

This was our view from the Parade Riley and I were in with our church. He passed out candy and I pulled a wagon of supplies. He loved it.

 This is a Giant Schnauzer

I wanted it bad!

 We headed to Bainbridge Island to end the day.

 There is so much for the eye to see there.

 This is the most beautifully stored garbage I've ever seen

I'm in love with whatever this plant is, I think it grows wild? It's amazing.

 Love the old English gate

We wanted to go to dinner here, but you had to be 21.

Sorry kiddos.

This was our view from kid-friendly dinner table.

 Our food was amazing! Riley can't believe it! :)

 LOVE.

 Beautiful colors

I always gawk at this gorgeous, historical coffee shop, next time I'll visit it!!

I just might have to frame this one <3

And finally, I got to come home to this sleeping baby.

That is all <3

Needle and Thread

All the wild horses
All the wild horses
Tell her with tears in their eyes
May no man's touch ever tame you
May no man's reigns ever chain you
And may no man's weight ever defrayed your soul
And as for the clouds
Just let them roll
Roll away
Roll away
As for the clouds
Just let them roll
Roll away
Roll away



It's been a while folks. Sorry 'bout that! Yes I've been busy is suppose, but truth be told, I've avoided this little blog of mine. Going back today and reading it reminded me so much of why I have. You see, I'm not a good liar, not too good at faking things either. I love to write, it is a piece of my soul, and having a blog is like giving it a good drink of water. But I was so filled with questions and doubts, lost really, in my own mind, that the words wouldn't form, my voice cracked and I choked when my soul tried to speak out. 
I've come to the realization that I've been walking around this Earth, hollow in many ways and bone-aching dry in others. I feel like somewhere along the way I was given a needle and thread and I have attempted to sew myself together, to keep from falling apart. Sometimes I've stitched the holes together nicely, or even put cute little patches over them, other times I just see these big gaping holes that have quietly ripped wide open. I grew up such a free and wild spirit. I was untamed. This life has broken me in many ways, placed a bridle in my mouth and thrown a saddle over my back. And thus, with the needle and thread, I have tried to stitch that girl back together, all the while telling her to stuff that free spirit of hers deep down.  I am realizing slowly that I need to dump that needle and thread and shed this skin I've tried to decorate. Let that care free, happy girl grow back and be who I am. Sometimes lyrics say it so much better:

Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holdin' back the wind

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around?
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

It's time again to be me,

I'll open my own gates 

and set myself free.

Soap Box

Well, I haven't made good on my promise to get back into writing more on here. Oopsies... :) I hope I can get better about that but I confess I don't feel bad about only having written once in the last month. I have been a busy bee. I have finally stopped getting sick so often and thus been able to go to my church. I am nearing the end of a Bible Study I've been doing for the the last fifteen months, I joined a gym here (finally), played with my kids more and really have put more effort into getting into God's word. I've also been enjoying journaling with a good old fashioned pen and a piece of paper. Oh and one little minor thing, COUPONING! I have taken up couponing and I have to say I find it challenging. There's a lot to learn.

Riley has just recently turned SIX! I can't believe he is six! He is just about the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes upon, with exception to his brother Raegan. Yes, boys can be beautiful. His soul sure is. He is so sweet and loving it amazes me everyday. Today he drew me a picture of the two of us watching fireworks together. It was so lovely I had to frame it. If I may stand up on my soap box for a moment, I do not know how it would be possible to grow a baby inside you and give life to him or her and not see for yourself that there is indeed a God, and he is truly good. When your five senses and every emotion inside you gets a hold of that baby for the first time, you cannot deny it is a miracle. There are so many Bible verses I'd love to share on the topic of children and babies and even being a mother. Just a couple for now:

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

John 16:21A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

I remember when I was pregnant with Riley being certainly afraid of the pain I'd endure during childbirth. It scared me that I had no choice, it wasn't something I could dodge. But now looking back the pain is not what I remember. I remember his first cry, I remember the first time I held him, how warm he was, how his tiny little hand grasped my finger. He was there, he was mine, and I had never lived before that moment. Everything else around me was silent, time stopped for a bit. Ramsey and I cried, held him, held each other. We kissed him, kissed each other. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I'll cherish it forever. One last verse: 

Psalm 113:9 He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!

Clearly I am able to conceive children. But the definition of barren itself means too poor to produce much or any vegetation. That I was. I was poor in spirit, poor in heart, broken. My life was certainly not producing anything. I was so lost at that time. I was just 18. Ramsey and I found out we were pregnant the last week of high school.  I can say that with out shame because the Lord has redeemed me. And look at what he gave me out of it all! Riley. Not to mention a pretty rad husband and later on Raegan. What a precious gift a child is. A gift that certainly could not come from this world.

I will graciously step down from my soap box now and say that life has been good lately. It has it's ups and downs, its mountains to climb and it's low valleys to survive. But may I just say, walking with the Lord makes it all worth it. And having the blessing of a family like mine makes this life a gift.

That is all.  :)

 

What I Did For My Christmas Vacation 2011 :)

Well.... I sort of let the craziness of the Holidays overtake my writing capabilities. Oops. But I'm baaaack! :) A quick update for those of you who remember my mention of my Christmas presents. I didn't end up doing them. But I peacefully made this decision this year because it did not seem like the right timing. I'm glad I didn't. But I'm still going to keep the idea to myself in hopes that maybe the opportunity will arise sometime. I've also thought about just doing them individually as the time comes. If I do, I'll spill the beans then. :)
So, a Holiday recap: Thanksgiving was very different for me this year. It was the first time I've spent any major holiday that I can recall away from my family and Ramsey's family since I've met them. Well, his dad was here but his sister's and mom were not due to bad road conditions. So it ended up being me, myself and I, with six men. SIX MEN. I was very much expecting to be all by my lonesome in the kitchen that day but just about everyone pitched in here or there. It was wonderful. I cooked my first Thanksgiving meal including desserts and appetizers. I was happy with just about everything. We have come to a final conclusion though, forget that fancy stuffing, us Pruchnic's just like the boxed stuff.
 The month of December zoomed by and it felt great to have Riley on Christmas break. Ramsey only had one day left of vacation time for the year and so to us going back to Spokane wasn't an option to weigh. However, he did have a four day weekend for Christmas and New Year's creating a short 3 day week in between. On Tuesday the 21st Ramsey's boss informed him he'd only need to be available by computer those three days. Ramsey mentioned all of this non-challantly in a late night car ride home from the ferry docks, just gently stating he wished he had known earlier so that we could have maybe gone home for the Holidays. Oh well.
Fast forward to Wednesday sometime in the am and God gets my wheels turning. He brings to mind in picture form the idea of going home for Christmas and the pure happiness it would bring everyone, especially the Grandmas and our two little boys. I ask Ramsey what he thinks and of course he says its up to me. But neither of us really felt like it, it would require a lot of work and I'd have no time to prepare and everyone already shipped their Christmas presents to our house. And this would be the first Christmas not having to be here there and everywhere. Something we'd wanted for a long time. Then I thought once again of my mother's face and Ramsey's mother's face upon seeing their sweet little grand boys arriving as an early Christmas present on their doorstep. That settled it. And it had to be a surprise too.  By that evening we had chalked up a plan, invited our dear friend Jon along and told the boys. They were ecstatic! Come Thursday afternoon I had Jon's car packed to the brim with bags, car seats and wrapped Christmas presents. I was determined to bring every single present there, bows and ribbon still intact. Which I can proudly say happened, everything looked great. I should have got a picture of that car. You couldn't have fit much more in it, and praise the Lord my dog fits in my lap.
 Thursday the 22nd at around 9 p.m. we pulled into Medical Lake, Wa, grabbed a quick boquet of flowers and headed to Ramsey's mom's house. The boys rang the doorbell with flowers in hand. I wish I could describe to you the look on her face. It was priceless. She had gone from seeing those boys almost daily to a five month stretch with out them. It felt so good to everyone's hearts to be together again. We stayed the night and all laughed together and the boys were very much at home at Grandma's house. The next morning we headed to my mom's house and got to do it all over again. She kept saying she couldn't believe we were there. It was so nice to be.  We were blessed to stay with our families back in Spokane for an entire week. A few highlights were: Visiting our beloved old church for their Christmas service, watching Holiday Inn with my mom and sister, everyone's faces upon seeing us, seeing old friends, and of course playing Michael Jackson's dancing game with my sister-in-laws on our new Wii, pretty much every chance we got. 

I was worried going back home to Poulsbo, Wa that it wouldn't feel like returning home, but leaving home to go back to an empty house in a strange town. Although we instantly missed everyone, it did feel like home to walk through our red front door and be just the five of us (five of course including our beloved Yorkie King Louie). Thank you Jesus.
Moving away from all of our family really in some senses was like us leaving home for the first time. It felt like a big kid step, it's had ups and downs and was exciting and scary all at once. New Year's weekend was spent quietly, relaxing and enjoying our new Christmas presents. The five of us rang in the New Year with Sparkling Grape Juice, Raegan and the dog passed out on the couch, one tired little five-year-old determined to make it to Midnight and a wife and husband, happy to be a family in their own home, in their own little town.
As of now, if you're still reading this longggg post, things have gone back to normal now. The Holidays have come and gone yet again, Riley is back in school and Ramsey back at work. But it does feel a bit different though, simply in having peace about our move across the state, and having had the chance to squeeze our loved ones once more. I hope to be back to writing again, I have missed it. See you soon.